I'd like to share something that Kim Leatherdale, a therapist friend of mine :), shared with me. Some great points for all of us in working on our relationships ....... Thank you Kim!
Today is the traditional day to celebrate love and romance. But I wish to encourage you to expand today beyond romantic love and celebrate all the types of love you have in your life (or have had.)
the family members you feel close to
the family members you may have lost but still love
the friends who cared about you even when you were being a "jerk"
the dog you grew up with or who greets you when you come home
the cat that warmly purrs on your lap
of course, your partner
and the many other loves in your lifetime.
Take a few moments to remember, enjoy, cherish, and celebrate the greatness that is love in the world.
A few of my favorite things...
As a way to celebrate love, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite relationship hints I have posted on Twitter. Consider and enjoy.
When you listen, stop talking in your head.
If you focus on the negative, that is all you will see. If you focus on the positive, happier you will be.
Motivation follows action. Wait on motivation and you'll make no changes.
You bring about peace in your relationship by living peace yourself. Find your calm centered strength and caring.
Stop trying to control everything. Period.
Resolve each day to take a healthy stance in your relationship. No matter what your partner does- be healthy.
When choosing between pointing out your partner's "flaws" & working on your own- get to work.
Don't ask your partner to define you, save you, make you feel a certain way, or give you esteem. You create these things.
Treat your partner at least as well as you treat strangers or friends. It's too easy to take your partner for granted.
What seems simple to you may be very difficult for you partner to do.Recognize their work as much as you do your own.
Rather than comparing & finding your relationship lacking, identify what you can improve and work on it.
You cannot be in a healthy relationship unless you are healthy yourself. Become a healthy individual.
Learn from your past instead of blaming it. The happy change their future through choice and action.
When you are discussing, stick to one topic until you are both clear & satisfied. Don't throw in the kitchen sink. ;)
Before you speak to your partner, take a breath and remember you love them. Take a loving breath.
When communicating, your job is either to understand (listener) or be understood (speaker); you can't do both at once.
If you never risk losing your relationship by standing up for yourself, you've lost it anyway.
Stop trying to please everyone. By trying to *make* them happy, you take away their right to pursue happiness themselves.
Don't assume you *know* what someone is thinking, ASK. You do the most damage reacting to your own imaginings.
Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what you can do to help your partner provide more of what you want.
And one last one for today: "Don't take love for granted- not that your partner knows of your love, nor things are good. Love takes daily attention." That means you can't just be loving on Valentine's Day, but must be every day of the year.