Happy Valentines Day!

I'd like to share something that Kim Leatherdale, a therapist friend of mine :), shared with me.  Some great points for all of us in working on our relationships ....... Thank you Kim!  


Today is the traditional day to celebrate love and romance. But I wish to encourage you to expand today beyond romantic love and celebrate all the types of love you have in your life (or have had.)

• the family members you feel close to
• the family members you may have lost but still love
• the friends who cared about you even when you were being a "jerk"
• the dog you grew up with or who greets you when you come home
• the cat that warmly purrs on your lap
• of course, your partner
• and the many other loves in your lifetime.

Take a few moments to remember, enjoy, cherish, and celebrate the greatness that is love in the world.

A few of my favorite things...

As a way to celebrate love, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite relationship hints I have posted on Twitter. Consider and enjoy.

1. When you listen, stop talking in your head.
2. If you focus on the negative, that is all you will see. If you focus on the positive, happier you will be.
3. Motivation follows action. Wait on motivation and you'll make no changes.
4. You bring about peace in your relationship by living peace yourself. Find your calm centered strength and caring.
5. Stop trying to control everything. Period.
6. Resolve each day to take a healthy stance in your relationship. No matter what your partner does- be healthy.
7. When choosing between pointing out your partner's "flaws" & working on your own- get to work.
8. Don't ask your partner to define you, save you, make you feel a certain way, or give you esteem. You create these things.
9. Treat your partner at least as well as you treat strangers or friends. It's too easy to take your partner for granted.
10. What seems simple to you may be very difficult for you partner to do.Recognize their work as much as you do your own.
11. Rather than comparing & finding your relationship lacking, identify what you can improve and work on it.
12. You cannot be in a healthy relationship unless you are healthy yourself. Become a healthy individual.
13. Learn from your past instead of blaming it. The happy change their future through choice and action.
14. When you are discussing, stick to one topic until you are both clear & satisfied. Don't throw in the kitchen sink. ;)
15. Before you speak to your partner, take a breath and remember you love them. Take a loving breath.
16. When communicating, your job is either to understand (listener) or be understood (speaker); you can't do both at once.
17. If you never risk losing your relationship by standing up for yourself, you've lost it anyway.
18. Stop trying to please everyone. By trying to *make* them happy, you take away their right to pursue happiness themselves.
19. Don't assume you *know* what someone is thinking, ASK. You do the most damage reacting to your own imaginings.
20. Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what you can do to help your partner provide more of what you want.

And one last one for today: "Don't take love for granted- not that your partner knows of your love, nor things are good. Love takes daily attention." That means you can't just be loving on Valentine's Day, but must be every day of the year.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

About Anxiety

When we try to understand anxiety, we need to look at fear first. Fear is a way we have of protecting ourselves; it’s an appropriate reaction to a real danger. If there is a dangerous situation, fear kicks in. Our adrenaline levels increase dramatically; we become hyper-vigilant, on guard, ready to act if necessary. On the other hand, anxiety is an over-reaction to something that we perceive as dangerous. Our bodies react in the same way though. Even though there is no real danger, when we feel those physical reactions -- heart racing, sweating, shortness of breath -- our body registers that there must be something dangerous out there. 


Some of the symptoms that we might experience with excessive anxiety are: panic and fear, obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, heart palpitations, sweating, sleep problems. But it’s confusing, we feel very similar to the way we would feel when there is a real danger out there, but can’t figure out why we’re feeling this way. Then we start worrying even more and a vicious cycle begins.


When anxiety is taking over our lives, we feel overwhelmed, helpless, out of control. Worrying takes up more and more of our time and energy. We know that some of our thoughts and behaviors are unreasonable, but can't stop them. It’s hard to explain and often embarrassing to tell our family and friends about and often hard for them to understand. It can be a very lonely experience.


There are many ways to deal with anxiety. Certain activities, techniques and therapies can help. Some work for one person but not for another. There are many things that can give you relief though, so if you do have anxiety, don’t give up, don’t be discouraged ..... the solution for you may be right around the corner! In my next post, I’ll tell you about some of the solutions that I’ve found that have helped me and many others.

"I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time." ~Charlie Brown 


I love Charlie Brown. He's been around forever, sharing the wisdom he's gained through his struggles. He helps me to look at myself more honestly. He doesn't try to pretend, he knows he's a worrier. This is part of him, he doesn't deny it. Yet, he knows that he has to contain "his dreads". He speaks of keeping it in the day. Yes, he still has his worries, they are going to come, but he realizes that he needs to keep them in check, limit them, contain them. He also can see how ridiculous he can be at times and accepts this, even embraces it. Being able to look at my shortcomings with honesty and humor frees me to make changes, to see more possibilities. I think that one of the things that I love so much about Charlie Brown is that he makes me feel so normal, just one other person who sometimes struggles to get through the day. Charlie's gift is that he can say what many of us feel but just don't know how to put into words. So with these thoughts in mind, I'd just like to say, "Thank you, you're a good man, Charlie Brown!"  

Why Worry?

"If I don't worry, who else will?"

"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." 
~Andrew Carnegie

My New Year's Wish for You!

Click here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Elaine-Corona-Counseling-by-the-Shore-LLC/153499831348113?ref=ts

My Christmas Wish for You

CLICK HERE http://www.facebook.com/pages/Elaine-Corona-Counseling-by-the-Shore-LLC/153499831348113?ref=ts

Holiday Hint: Just enough and only just enough

"Kim Leatherdale has been kind enough to let me share a post of hers with you. 

Enjoy your holidays!!"

- Elaine



J is for “Just enough.”

Do “just enough” to make the Holidays what you want them to be - meaningful and enjoyable for you and your family.

Keep from making the Holidays complicated.  Learn to say “No” gently but firmly if you are asked to add things.  Don't add anything that isn't meaningful or enjoyable to you and yours.  Learn to say “Help” just as firmly but gently.  Remember enlisting help is an important skill.

Simplify your gift giving.  It is really true one meaningful gift can say more than three expensive thoughtless ones.  My family does Secret Santa so we each only buy for one person and we can focus on that person.

Have just enough decorations.  Don't go nuts on decorating - make things meaningful and beautiful to you.  As a child I loved the light-up soldier that went in the yard.  I didn't need the whole house outlined in lights; I just wanted the soldier guarding our driveway. 

Simplify your food.  Have fewer tastier dishes (just enough) at your dinner rather than a massive feast with tons of leftovers.  If someone wants you to add dishes, suggest they bring those things on the day of celebration.  Give them the gift of the recipe and encourage them to learn how to make it.  Remind them they can then have the dish anytime of the year.

Participate in just enough events.  Don't do things you don't enjoy - parties, visiting, events.  Be truly involved in the things you do because you'll have energy for them. 

Make your Holidays be about just enough so you can feel the true joy of the season.  If you are doing just enough all the positives of the season have just enough space to join you.  Make that space in your life.

Visit Kim's blog at Creating Rewarding Relationships